


Stargazing

by Skellyagogo



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:53:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28462695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skellyagogo/pseuds/Skellyagogo
Kudos: 2





	Stargazing

_**Your P.O.V.** _

The night was cool with a slight breeze, not a cloud in sight up in the inky black sky. I sat up on the cement top of the Bunker door staring up at the stars. A thermos of hot cocoa next to me with a hot cup in my hands. I closed my eyes breathing in the night air, it was utterly relaxing. The Bunker was far enough away from any extra light source so the stars twinkled brightly in the evening sky. 

I had used the telescope in the library but it didn't have the same comforting feeling I'd get from the sensation of the crisp night air touching my skin, the chirps of the insects in the tall grass, rustling of the leaves in the trees, it was peaceful and calming, even knowing of the things that went bump in the night, the stars lit my way. 

This was my time, the way I recharged at least that's what I told myself. Quiet alone time that I craved and needed more than I'd admit, but every time I needed it, this is where I'd be. It took a few interruptions by Cas and the Boys before they realized that being alone under the stars was something I needed like a fish needs water. 

I popped my earbuds in, set my cup down and laid back on the blanket, my head resting on my arms, staring up as I searched the constellations. The truth of it was, I was alone and I hated every moment of it. Not lonely because I didn't have the Boys or Angels bombarding me, lonely because no one had ever shown interest in me, other than Bathazaar but he only wanted one thing from me and nothing more.

_**His P.O.V** _

I'd come to the Winchester's Bunker to meet the human woman that had my brothers and sisters so enthralled and changed. After a few get-togethers with her, some of them had changed for the better, they seemed to adjust to not being in Heaven better after seeing her. She made them feel at ease, I'd hoped to find the same with her. It'd been different for me being expelled from Heaven's prison, I'd spent centuries locked up and tortured for a crime I didn't commit, so the thought of being in that Bunker made me feel uneasy, I was hesitant to go in.

When I arrived at the front door, I noticed some movement above and went to investigate, walking slowly and softly I found her with a smile on her face as she gazed upwards. I'd never seen anything so beautiful and serene, her eyes twinkled as they bounced from star to star, her voice humming along to a song playing in her ears. 

After a few seconds, she grew quiet letting out a sigh, and began thinking about how lonely she was, how she wished she could share this with someone, anyone, she just wanted to be loved. I was about to leave her be when she started to sing out loud, it was soft but I could hear the music flowing through her headphones. It was the first music I'd heard in centuries and it was beautiful, I felt something unfamiliar shudder through my body and I couldn't stop smiling.

I wasn't sure what exactly what I was feeling but I was enjoying it. I searched my vessels memories to try and understand, I was confused, but just looking at her, listening to her voice, I didn't want to leave her side. I hear a noise below and hid in the trees, in case she was in danger, but it was only Sam. He tapped her foot to get her attention, she sat up in anger, glaring at the taller Winchester. 

"What?!" She yelled.

"Sorry, we got a case, we gotta roll in 10 minutes." He looked distressed at having to bother her.

"Can't it wait until morning?" She growled it was meant to sound angry with him, but to me it was delightful.

"No, it's a drive and Dean wants to get there by morning for our FBI bit."

"Fine!" She threw up her arms in frustration and started gathering all her things stomping back into the Bunker, like a little one, it was what humans call, adorable.

"If we're lucky we'll be back in a few days in time for the full moon and I promise I'll do my best to keep everyone away from you," he tried to reassure her, but her grumblings about needing space made me laugh. I'd try back in a few days time, maybe by then, I could muster the courage to speak with her.

_**A few days later, Gadreel's P.O.V** _

She was there again on the blanket gazing up at the night sky, I watched from the treeline afraid to move any closer. She was so tranquil, I couldn't bring myself to disturb her. I stood leaning against a large pine with a smile on my face, internally chastising myself for not talking to her. She was just a human, why was I so hesitant? That's when I felt a presence next to me, it was Gabriel.

"What's up, lil bro?" He smiled.

"Shh, don't disturb her, it makes her mad." I turned back to watch her.

"Uh huh so why are you here?" 

"I wanted to meet her, see why the rest of you are so fond of her, but every time I've come, she's been there," he pointed towards my spot, "during her star time." I couldn't look away from her, she was more lovely than anything I'd seen, the longer I stared the larger my smile became. Gabriel started to laugh, and I glared at him to be quiet.

"You've got it bad," he whispered.

"What do you mean, I don't understand."

"You like her, the way you look at her, it's the same way humans look at each other when they're in love."

"Really? I didn't understand what that sudden emotion was, my vessel had no memories of it. Is that why I feel so drawn to her?" These human emotions and actions were confusing.

"Yup, go talk to her, I doubt she'll get mad at someone that looks like you." He chuckled.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Your vessel, it's very appealing to women if you catch my drift."

"In due time brother," and I went back to watching her, listening to her sing and hum her songs. I went back every night to check on her from that night on.

_One Month Later_

The Boys had gone out to the bar, the last hunt had been rough. I'd gotten tossed around by the Demon we were hunting and broken my wrist. It was Dean's idea to use me as bait and as most of his plans shit went south fast. He blamed himself, couldn't look me in the eye afterward even though Cas had appeared and healed me. They knew I could handle myself, I'd grown up hunting just like them, but they still refused to think of me as anything other than the little sister they never wanted but loved dearly, we were a happy dysfunctional little family. 

The Angels adored me much to the dislike of Sam and Dean especially after previous experience with them. I refused to take any of their shit and never backed down in fear. Dean called me the Angel Whisperer. When the shit hit the fan and the Angels fell, I became a lighthouse beacon to them. I helped Cas understand humanity a little better and tried to catch him up on all things pop culture so he could understand Dean. 

I baked cookies, brownies, and other sweets for Gabriel in exchange for never putting the Boys or me in a television show world again. Balthazar liked to drag me all over the world to different wineries because I was the only one who could appreciate the taste of good wine, unlike that 'uncivilized flannel-clad neanderthal Dean' as he would say. Of course, he would show up to spirit me off at the most inopportune times, like when I was in the midst of a hunt with the Boys or in the middle of a shower. Nothing like showing up naked covered in soap bubbles in a wine cellar.

Michael loved to dance, he would pop in a couple of times a month to teach me a dance he remembered seeing the humans do in a time long ago. He'd hear a song where ever he was and think about the first time he saw humans dance to it and felt compelled to share it with someone who could enjoy it as much as he did. Michael was always gentle and kind towards me, it un-nerved the Boys. Anna would take me to see paintings and sculptures in museums from all the artists she watched throughout the years as they created their masterpieces. Occasionally we'd sit in a park somewhere and draw for hours. 

Even Lucifer much to everyone's displeasure found my company tolerable. We all knew he despised humans but he would show up from time to time where ever I was and just sit beside me reading books aloud, anything from Keats to Steven King but his favorite was H.P. Lovecraft. He'd get little crinkles around his eyes as he'd read, he'd change his voice for each character, sometimes act out what was happening. For a Big Bad, he was fun to be around and listen to. Samandriel, that sweet little thing of an Angel liked to take quite walks around parks, especially in the summertime when everyone had their dogs with them, he was a sucker for dogs. 

Uriel well, he was gruff around the edges, he didn't like talking to a mud-monkey until I introduced him to police shows, like COPS, NYPD Blue, NCIS, CSI, he liked watching humans get what was coming to them. There were so many Angels and so little of my time to go around, I felt like I was on call 24/7 to them sometimes. I was a walking, talking Angel to Human translator, all things human, pop culture, etc, etc, I was there for them. 

The Angels all agreed together (for the first time in centuries) that I was their favorite human. I never asked for anything even to be healed (it was always one of the Boys that asked or the Angel just took it upon themselves to do so), I just let them be themselves, never treated them as if they were anything more or less than me. I gave them respect and it seemed that that was all most of them ever wanted in the first place. 

I was in the kitchen in the Bunker, black flannel pajama pants, a white tank top, and grey woolen socks. I was grumbling and smacking the coffee maker around trying to figure out why it wasn't working. The room was a groggy haze, my head spinning a little when I heard the flutter of wings behind me. I just wanted coffee, I wasn't in the mood to play a thousand questions with the next Angel brought to me. It was exhausting being pulled in a million directions at once, they all wanted something from me but never once had anyone ever asked me what I wanted. 

The new Angel showed up in the bunker flanked by a smiling Cas and Gabe holding onto this arms, they wanted him to meet me, they said, but the grin on Gabe's face said that there was more to it than that. Gadreel was shy and reluctant, stood far away regarding me with a strange pained look that I just couldn't understand. Granted our first meeting wasn't exactly me putting my best foot forward either. I'd just woken up still drunk from perhaps the longest bender with Bathazaar in my history with him. We started out in an ancient winery in France and ended the night getting busted in the Pope's private wine cellar in the Vatican and shot at by guards. 

My ears were still ringing with that awful folk music Bathazaar was singing that had gotten us busted by the guard in the Vatican. My brain and body screaming out for a caffeine fix. I picked up the useless coffee maker, ripped the plug from the outlet and tossed it against the nearest wall with agitation, shattering the glass carafe into a zillion pieces. I recognized the snicker that followed and groaned before stomping over to the pantry fumbling with the old school percolator that had been sitting collecting dust on the shelf since we moved into the Bunker.

"If you wanted coffee Sugar all you gotta do is ask." Gabriel laughed before snapping his fingers and a few dozen cups in varying sizes and flavors appeared on the counter.

"No thank you! Not in the mood for your shit today Gabe. Balthazar zapped me all over wine country last night getting me completely plastered and then I ended up getting shot at in the Vatican of all places and to top it all off he tried to end our excursion by trying to get me into bed so no, I'm not in the mood, fuck right off with whatever you're here for." I could hear a commotion behind me, someone was whispering angrily, before Cas told him to calm down.

"Tsk tsk tsk, so feisty in the morning. Come on, you know you love the attention we give you, well except Bathy always trying to sleep with you." I growled at Gabe in response.

"Y/n, please," Cas' voice was calming, "we brought someone to meet with you, he's been trying to see you for some time now." 

"Cas please, I'm still drunk, I'm tired and I just want to crawl back in bed and ignore everything. I'm exhausted, day in and day out Angels come to me..." I tried to stifle back tears of frustration, I was just overwhelmed and tired and sick of being without someone to love. 

There wasn't a day that had gone by without an Angel dropping by, as much as I liked it, it was stressful never having any time to myself. Between the Boys, hunting and the Angels, I was never alone, I just wanted some well deserved alone time to recharge, but more than that I just wanted someone in my corner to tell everyone 'no leave her alone' or 'she's otherwise occupied' and take me away to someplace quiet. Finding someone to love shouldn't be so difficult, what was wrong with me?

"Sugarbear, I promise after you meet him I'll tell the others to back off for a while."

"Oh for fucks sakes, fine, bring him here then." I slammed my fists on the counter and turned around, had I known he was already there witnessing my little tantrum I doubt I would have acted so badly. 

I thought the angry whispering had been between Cas and Gabriel. He was tall, wore a leather jacket with a hoodie underneath, a strong jaw that was clenched in what looked like anger, his eyes showed a mixture of sadness and pain.

"Y/n, this is Gadreel. He's been trying to see you, but the others have been monopolizing your time." Cas gave me a kind smile, he knew I didn't mean to behave so poorly. I blinked my eyes a few times trying to focus and walked across the room to shake his hand, but I didn't make it too far before he broke free of Cas, and Gabe yelled something about Bathazaar being a heathen and teleported away. 

A week had passed since my horrible tantrum, I'd only seen him twice and both times he kept his distance and left as quickly as possible before I could speak to him. It left the Boys confused until Gabe gave them a rundown of my overwhelmed by everyone and their bullshit with a lack of caffeine kitchen rant. I felt like garbage about it but he wouldn't give me a chance to apologize. 

I spread a blanket out on the grass and laid down with my hands behind my head watching the stars wishing I could be given a second chance. I didn't mean to pray to him, but my sub-conscience couldn't live with the guilt of my actions. He appeared a few feet away from me, watching me, trying to gauge my actions, listening to my thoughts. I kept thinking I was a terrible person and why couldn't I just say no to everyone. It was alright to put myself before other people sometimes, wasn't it?

"You know, I almost didn't answer." He spoke softly. I let out a little squeak of surprise and sat up, it made him laugh.

"I didn't mean to pray to you, I just felt like a total twat over my behavior and wanted to apologize. That wasn't my finest moment and I am sorry." 

"I understand, but that wasn't why I left." He sat down next to me and smiled.

"If it wasn't my awful behavior then why go away? Why wouldn't you talk to me?"

"I was angry because of what Bathazaar tried to do to you." 

"What? Balthazar hits on me all the time, he gets a thrill out of it, but I've never go through with it. He's not what I've been searching for." I blushed and looked away from him.

"I realize that now, that night it seems my emotions got the better of me." He stared at the ground.

I let out a laugh, "why would an angel I've never met get jealous?" The way he shifted his body showed guilt and regret, then it clicked. "Ooh, so it's been you watching in the shadows?" I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them smiling.

"You knew I was there?" His face showed concern and shame.

"I knew something was there but since it didn't attack me, I just assumed it was one of the Angels watching over me protectively. You could have come and sat with me, I don't bite, hard." I winked at him and he let out a soft laugh.

"The first night I tried to see you, I wandered upon you up here, you were so beautiful I didn't want to disturb you, and then Sam came to get you and you well I'm guessing you remember." His laugh was deep and a little bit husky.

"Oh yeah, not a good moment for me yet again. I swear I'm not always so childish and upset, it just gets overwhelming being the one everyone comes to, but I don't have the heart to tell anyone no because they've all been so good to me."

"Even if they never ask you what you want?" His sad eyes staring into me.

"Exactly." I sighed. "Like right now, as sad as I am, I'm compelled to ask you why you needed to see me, to begin with." 

"I just wanted to see the human that got my brothers and sisters to behave so well for the first time in ages. I'd heard nothing but good things about you." He smiled. 

"But why did you leave without talking to me then? I thought I'd been so terrible that you'd never come back." I laid back on the blanket and placing my hands behind my head, he took that as a subtle cue and did the same laying close, he sighed and let out a chuckle. "What?"

"I don't do so well in enclosed spaces, reminds me of...well nevermind."

"Oh, I heard whispers of... your punishment, I'm sorry." 

"Don't be sorry, it wasn't your doing, I was just the scapegoat as you call it. I just wanted to do as God asked, I wanted to help humanity."

"So no enclosed spaces for you got it." We laid in silence for ages watching the night sky, the breeze picked up and I shivered, he reached over and pulled me into his side, resting my head on his chest and tried to wrap part of the blanket around me. 

"Is that better?" His voice was soft yet deep.

"Yeah, I wasn't planning on being out here this long, but they're so beautiful, like millions of twinkling Christmas lights." His hand rubbed my arm trying to warm me up. "Gadreel, what did you really want the night Cas and Gabe brought you over?"

"This." He whispered. 

"I don't understand." I adjusted my arms, trying to figure out where to place them, most of the other Angels aren't so open about touching like this. I didn't want to offend him in any way so I had them tucked onto my chest.

"Every time I had tried to stop by you were trying to steal these moments of alone time watching stars. So I watched you instead like you watched the stars. That's why Gabriel had that stupid grin on his face that first night in the kitchen, he'd seen me watching over you a few nights beforehand. He said...he said I looked at you the way your kind does when you're in love and laughed at me." My cheek flushed and my heart pounded, was he really saying what I thought?

"I don't know what to say."

"You made this look so calming like the stars themselves gave you all the answers in the world, and then you started to sing. After my long punishment in heaven, I guess I was just looking for peace, and that music you sang did just that." I turned my body slightly angling it more towards him and draped an arm over his chest and felt his chest rumble with contentment. "This is cuddling isn't it?"

"Yeah, kinda, why? Is this ok, I was just trying to get a little more comfortable, and warm." I chuckled. 

"No, no, it's fine, I...I like it." He put his other arm around me, wrapping me up tight against him. "May I ask, do you do this with all of us?"

"No, you're the first actually." 

"I'd like to do this with you more often if you'd permit me." 

"I'd love to, but maybe somewhere warmer." I laughed softly.

"Oh no, this cuddling part makes stargazing more enjoyable besides," he exhaled happily, "I think you like it too."

"Can't lie when someone can read your mind, huh?" He laughed and briefly stiffened his body listening to my thoughts.

"That I think I can do," he pulled us both into a seated position and leaned in for a kiss. It was slow and soft, he smelled like rain after a summer storm, his fingers eased across my cheek and tangled in my hair. All I'd ever wanted in life and here he was. He pulled away scanning my face smiling, I'd be at a disadvantage with him reading my mind, but as long as he'd lay down and stare at the stars with me I didn't care. He chuckled laying us back down on the blanket, pulling me in tight to him, he kissed the top of my head, "anything you want from now on."


End file.
